Asides

Advice, Faith

I should have listened to the stranger on the 747…

Aside

I should have listened to the stranger on the 747…

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I never got her name. I didn’t think to ask, truthfully I was too shy. We were flying in first class on a 747 to Chicago. I was not yet 30 and moving from Phoenix to work in the suburbs of the city.

She was young, attractive and vibrant. We chatted a bit, small talk mostly. She lived in Chicago and asked me what my plans were for finding a place to live. I told her I had a cousin who had lived in the suburbs and that’s probably where I would live. “Oh no” she said. “You HAVE to live in the city.” I’m sure I instantly cringed at that by her reaction. I’m just a small town guy. Frankly I don’t like cities though I have been to some of the biggest all around the world from London to Hong Kong and I could see New York City from my hometown on a clear day. “No really, it’s great!” she pressed. “Yeah, it’s just not me.” I returned, knowing I probably killed any chance of her ever staying in contact with me. “I’m probably going to find a place close to work.” I added. “You don’t want to live in the suburbs. It’s a fun city with so much to do. What are you gonna do in the suburbs?” She had a point, and I didn’t have a good response. As we were deplaning my seatmate gave it one more try, “Well good luck in your new job. Think about it…living in the city. You won’t regret it.” “Okay” I said “I’ll think about it.” But I never gave it a second thought.

Like Ebenezer Scrooge with the Ghost of Christmas Past rewatching his life and seeing himself let Belle slip away, I see this moment in my own life play out again and again and all I can say is “You IDIOT! Why didn’t you listen to her? Why didn’t you at least look at some places? Why did you let your fear win?” It’s not what you may be thinking. It’s not her that I’m kicking myself some 20 plus years later for not pursuing, it’s her message.

Had I listened to her I may have met my wife 23 years ago, before either of us married others. My wife was living in the city back then. She ended up living there for 12 years, and had grown up in the same suburb I was working in at the time, just blocks away from my office.

God was trying to give me a second chance to meet her. The first one was 11 years before when we could have met in college, but again my fear held me back. I had considered going to college in St. Louis in the second semester of my freshmen year but I was from the East Coast and it was too far away I thought.

It wasn’t until 2008, fully 22 years after my first chance and 11 years after my second chance, that I finally met her. So if you ever find yourself talking to the blonde on the airplane, show some hospitality and listen to her message that might be coming from somewhere else. Because to paraphrase a line from the Bible, “…some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

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military, Uncategorized

Earn This…

Aside

Earn this, EARN IT! For most people it’s the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan that have the most impact. Don’t get me wrong, they are still as impactful as the first time I saw them. But for me it’s the last scenes that hit me the hardest because in them I hear the voices of my buddies talking to me.

Ryan gets to live to be an old man. He gets to go home, to get married, to have children and grandchildren, to live a full life. In the winter of his life he returns to Normandy, to what appears to be Colleville Cemetery. By all accounts it would appear he kept the promise. Still, standing over the grave of Capt. Miller, the man who made him make that promise as a young man, he can’t be sure. So he must ask the one person he can trust to tell him whether he has or hasn’t, his wife. He turns to her as says, “Tell me I’m a good man. Tell me I’ve lived a good life.” She figures out in an instant why he’s asking and reassures him.

I’ve been to Colleville. I’ve seen the headstones and placed a flag at the grave of an unknown hero. I’m thankful for their sacrifice. But the voices I hear in that moment of the movie are those of a kid from Long Island and a kid from Massachusetts, Capt Chris Adams and 1Lt. Edward “Ted” Hoyle. Chris was killed at Khobar Towers. Ted died in a mid-air refueling collision of two C-141s over Montana in 1991. They never made it out of their 20s, never got married, never got to be called daddy.

I never served in combat, never got my officer commission. I never even made it to active duty. I enlisted in the AirForce after Chris and before Ted while we were all in AFROTC together. While they went off to active duty I received an early Honorable Discharge from the Reserves.

Ted was lost first. We could only imagine what happened from what we heard. We hoped his death was quick. The same with Chris. We never got the details. We know they were alerted to the attack just prior to the explosion. We hoped neither suffered.

I got to see the world working for an airline. I got to get married, to become a dad. I got to become an old man. They didn’t. I think of them every Memorial Day and in between, especially when I watch that movie. I’ve made the same request of my wife that Ryan makes of his. “Tell me I’m a good man. Tell me I’ve lived a good life.” One day when my time comes, I will ask them and my Maker and hope to hear the words, “Well done my good and faithful one.”